Rock Paper Scissors

I was introduced to Rock Paper Scissors at a bar while I was on my way to being wasted after funneling a few too many beers. It’s a dull, illogical game used to make quick decisions on minor conflicts or settle arguments. The choices are rock, paper or scissors gesture with the hand. Paper covers rock, rock crushes scissors, scissors cuts paper. Ha! I can understand how rock crushes scissors or how scissors cuts paper, but what I can’t fathom is how paper beats rock. It magically wraps itself around rock leaving it weak and blind??? Shouldn’t it be able to do the same to scissors?

An extension of this game (which is Dr Z’s favorite game) is Rock Paper Scissors Slap. The winner of the game gets to slap the other person. Drunks take this game far too seriously and slap the s*** out of the other person! But you can’t hit a lady unless you are a lady yourself. I have my own exclusive way of playing this game; I shake a couple of times and make the rock gesture with the closed fist. If I win, great; but if I lose, I punch the brains out of my opponent with the previously clenched fist! ;)