My grandmother

Written in the memory of my grandmother 'Radha Obalappa'
Oct 21 1922 - Jan 9 2005

My grandmother was an extraordinary lady who led an ordinary life. My earliest memory of my grandmother is the way she would sing the lullaby 'Jo Jo Shri Krishna' when I used to get asthma attacks as a child every other week. My mother would pack me off to my grandparents' because she knew that that was where I wanted to be, where I would be pampered and cared for. My Momma, as I used to call her, was deeply religious used to sing songs like 'taarammayya' and tell me stories about 'prahlada' to take my mind off the pain.

If I had to describe my grandmother I would say she was the picture of dignity. She wore a big maroon bindi on her forehead, very nicely made ruby earrings that looked like a flower with gold petals would hang low, big framed glasses that were little too big for her small face, yellow stoned nose ring and a very kind smile. She was so petite that I would always worry about her frail body. I remember this one time when I went shopping for my grandmother, I was looking for a sweater for her and ended up buying a sweater made for a seven year old. When she tried it on, it fit her perfect!

She was so selfless, always putting the needs of others before her own. She was happiest when she was doing something for others. She would fold my clothes in a neat pile and look at me for my approval. When I told her it was great, her smile would light up the whole house. It was always very easy pleasing my grandmother; all it took was a flower or a stuffed toy. She truly believed in the simple pleasures of life.

Right from the time I've known her, I've seen her perpetually busy, doing something all the time, be it cooking, cleaning or just waiting on my grandfather. She would make pickles every mango season and they lasted for more than 4 years usually. No illness could keep her down; she would always bounce back with endless energy and constant activity. Towards the end of her life, her memory began to fail and she felt angry and helpless when she could not remember things. The day before her death she told our maid what a nice girl I was but did not recall my name. She always said the nicest things to people just like she did about me:). She was also a very God-fearing person who always did anything only if it was morally right and her last words a few moments before she left us were the names of God itself.

One other quality my grandma possessed that never ceases to amaze me is her incredible love for my grandfather. She was so crazy about him, worship him, would always talk about him when he was out of town selling land in Chitradurga and I could tell that every essence of her being craved to be close to him all the time. She would hate spending time at my parents' house without him and would sneak out of the house and go back to her house thinking my grandpa would be there. Now, I think about the times I would be angry at her for going away from our house without telling us and I understand that her place was always beside my grandfather, and she could not help the way she was devoted to my grandfather. They had spent over sixty years together and he was the person closest to her heart.

I will miss my Momma very much and she will always have a cherished place in our memories and in our hearts. She was a wonderful combination of warmth and kindness, laughter and love. Her spirit and strength lives on in each of us and in the lives that she touched. I am much of who I am today because of her. I feel proud and blessed to have had a grandmother like her.